Spirit Quest Journeys

My husband went to get a rental car when our car was getting hail damage repaired. (Background information about my husband is that he will talk to anyone. And, he always makes a point to ask whoever is helping him how their day is going.) So he had a gentleman helping him with the car and he asked his normal question of how was he doing today. The man first said that he was doing good. But then he stopped, said no, no he wasn’t. That he had recently lost his wife and then the day before, someone had ran over and killed his dog. So my husband replied how much that sucked and how sorry he was that he was experiencing those losses. The man got pulled away by a phone call and another person finished the transaction.

But this story got me thinking about what if we stopped answering in a way that made other people feel like they did their good deed in acknowledging you and let them just move on with no deeper connection. What if, instead, we actually wanted to connect with others we come into contact with and that we were honest with others who ask us those perfunctory questions? This would then give others permission to then do the same. What if we all just told the truth and acknowledged our feelings?
I know that as I have awakened and have had to figure out how to not feel numb to my feelings, it has been a difficult process. It’s not comfortable to go back and figure out why you numbed yourself to begin with, then the long process of getting out of resistance, processing, integrating and healing the emotions and traumas that got you to where you are now. It’s not easy to consciously choose to live your life authentically and show up to every situation as you are with no apologies.

What if we started teaching our kids when they are just toddlers to first recognize and assign the appropriate name to their feelings? Then, whenever they are feeling anything that our society deems too personal or not socially acceptable, we buck that non-beneficial belief system and thought process that have been handed down generations upon generations. Instead, we give them the safe space to express exactly what they are feeling. And we respond appropriately to comfort them, validate their feelings. and give them a safe space for expression. And if their response is spewing and becoming physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive, we teach them a different, healthier way of dealing with it.

We have been taught to conform, don’t rock the boat, keep the peace. We have been taught being emotional is bad and weak. We have been taught that we need to say and do certain things when in certain situations. To behave in polite company. But lets imagine a world where we actually just allow others to be sad, angry, happy, disappointed, excited, or whatever else they are feeling at the time, without shame, blame or judgment .. just an honest expression of I'm feeling ....  And in this imaginary world, you also allow yourself to be all these things also.

I think we would see a decline in anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicides, homicides, and other types of violence and abuse against each other. I think we would see an increase in healthy relationships on all levels, from a casual encounter to a romantic partnership. People would not have to struggle so much to fit in and feel like a little part of them dies each time they have to lie and say their day is good or they are good or that they are doing ok when the truth is that their day has been rather shitty...in fact, their month has been a series of heartache and stress and pain.

I truly think that that stream of negativity would be lessened if the person experiencing it was allowed to speak their reality and how they are feeling when it first started instead of having to ignore it to make other people around them feel better.

It’s like we all just walk around with the weight of the world on our back. We are stressed. We aren’t coping well. We feel like we are alone in our struggles and everyone else is handling life so much better than I am so why can’t I?

Let’s all start being the change we want. Let’s start allowing ourselves the safe space to acknowledge our feelings and heal. And let’s start allowing others to tell us the truth when we ask the “how’s your day” question. Take a chance to be a little uncomfortable when they say their day sucks. Take a chance to get to know why and how you can help hold space or provide comfort or whatever that person needs at that particular time. It doesn’t have to take but a minute. And yet that momentary encounter with someone who truly wants to connect on a soul level is enough to send rippling waves of change to a healthier, happier, more abundant society and we all benefit from that vibrational energy stream.

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